New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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