haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
