no you cant smoke seaweed
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Operation Purity has been aborted
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
