If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
