My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
