I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
