Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
