When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Still dying that you shit outside
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
