i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize