I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
