In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
