I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
His hands were made for my vagina.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
