i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize