i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
