so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
