Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
