I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
