at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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