This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
