he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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