His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
