Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
