just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
