Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
