Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
