What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
