A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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