i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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