Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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