I am midnight drunk by noon
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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