Pants 0. Shit 1.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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