Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
