I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
