I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
