this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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