He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
