dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
