he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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