My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
