C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
