Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
