My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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