The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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