He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
