I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
