how can u be prego again
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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