He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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