so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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