Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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