she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
