I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
