i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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