I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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