He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize