2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
